Red Tail Hawk Day
Last night I fell asleep by the screen door. Ray and I don't sleep outside because it's too risky to have feline Jessie Justin Joy outside at night. The three of like to be together. I felt the spirits beckon me outside and I was as outside as I could be. My heart was there. There was a song in the air. I could hear the tones of Cs. Bass, tenor, alto and soprano were all cooperating.
The night became my lover, holding me. I could feel the entire night truly holding me and I was in love. I could feel the night wrap me up like a soft lavender blanket and my skin felt nourished. I felt nourished to the core. I was mesmerized by the sweet sent held out to me as a gift from the wild ginger. I was pulled home like a child to a father’s chest, by the love peering through the gleaming eyes of the sky, the stars. Ray was downstairs working but I could feel his soothing energy wrapped into the night too. I remembered that all that matters to me is to follow this Divine love. I delight in all the service projects but it is following this Divine Love in nature that feeds me most completely.
The next morning the mountains promised that I am them. “You will be a strong warrior, as strong as we are if you feed yourself well. Take good care of your body. Eat good food. Eat our strength through your gaze.” As I listened, I breathed the rich greens that covered the hills into myself. I felt myself remember that once I was an Indian Boy. I wondered if it was my soul that lived an Indian Boy’s life. Perhaps the memory came from something else. Maybe there was an Indian boy in my ancestral line, recorded in my own DNA. .
I was walking up and down the hill very tired from the output of energy the last couple of weeks. Feline JJJ doesn't do as many laps as I do so he decided to wait at the bottom of the hill after we shared three. A grapefruit hung low from the small tree catching my eye. I went to pick it and said, “thank you.”
As I thanked the tree my heart was filled with the warmth of a tree saying “thank you,” in return. Sharing this gratitude, I felt complete. Lime green, evergreen, dark green and pastel green surrounded me.
Next the phone rang and after I answered it I was in a different world. Some one called about an argument they had with their spouse. The person’s voice scratched against me. I felt like the two of us were C# and D on the phone, silently competing. I wanted her to feel happier and she wanted me to feel her pain. I felt tired out. Back outside, doing laps up and down the hill, I was complaining to myself "I need more energy. What has happened? The hawks have been gone for almost a week."
Then he flew in front of me: the Red Tail Hawk with beautiful wings and big feet. I watched him go straight in front and then up to the sky circling to my right. His pink, grey and red colors took my heart up into the sky with him. I was on the ground and I was flying at the same time. "Come here, if you would," I asked. Would you teach me how to be stronger?"
At once he came, circling above me. Loud buzzing sounds began: it was the dragon flies: three of them coming to dance by me as I watched the hawk. The sun patted my forehead. I stretched my arms out as I looked up and he was now straight above me, still for a moment, with his wings also stretched.
"Thank you, Thank you. What does life ask of me?" I asked.
"We ask that you be very quiet and content and listen to us. We are stronger than you can imagine and we have a message for you now. Come back to us."
"Please teach me to be a real medicine woman," I said.
"A medicine woman uses holy scriptures and objects to woo others back into their own flight...back to themselves beyond you...back to who they are."
"Yes, and I am doing a good job?"
"There's more. Go deeper. When we are missing from you, you must go deeper to call us back in gently." When you don’t see us, go further into your own magic. Then watch how quickly we return.” The red tail was gone but a vision of him above a lake came blaring kindly and alarmingly into my mind. He looked like he was swooping down lower.
"You still give too much of yourself away," he cautioned me. I could hear him though his body was not near. I rubbed my palm with my other hand, feeling the different muscles all doing their jobs in one hand.
"How do I know what limits and boundaries to set?"
"Be more careful. Spend more time with us and you will learn. It's your turn."
"What can I offer you in return?"
"You can only offer yourself. There is nothing more and nothing less."
"What do I do next?"
"You must sit by a creek and let us come through the back door. It is our time to come to you."
I began to make plans to drive out to Felton and visit Fall Creek. I stopped in my own tracks, recalling something I had read in a book by Raymon Grace. He said you can connect to the water anywhere, from wherever you are. Instead of getting in the car, going to the gas station, and driving a ways I sent my soul to the creek.
There I heard chimes and high pitched sounds. A cool breeze smiled both at me and in me, causing my heart to relax. I lay on the ground, feeling massaged by the sun collected in the earth. I began to rejuvenate.
"You have lost your soul memory. You are only half way there. You must listen deeper. Listen to the night. Listen to the forest. Listen to the day. Listen to us and not to anyone else. We will help you. We are clear and we are in everything. Hear us."
I began to cry. "I am here, Mother of Life. Here I am and I will run to you as JJJ runs to me. I will listen."
"Have you noticed that every song and dance, everything you did for us has always stayed with you and come back to you? There is no past that isn't here."
"Then soak your face in the creek. Be cared for. Be served.”
I did and it was so cool that my energy began to come back. I saw an image of an owl when I put my head under.
Bathed and nourished, held and supported, suddenly rejuvenated I lay in the water. I have spent many times in water with my 3D body: the creeks, the oceans, the rivers and the lakes...and now, right from my house without going anywhere I was fully relieved and cleansed and rejuvenated. The water had come to me.
“Thank you to the water all over the planet, “ I said. “You are the life within us all. I love you forever. You are my hero. Thank you. May you be loved by everyone forever. I send you my love and I find myself home in you.”
I wrote down what had happened during that visionary experience and went back outside. I could feel Red Tail Hawk and owl still in me. Flaming strength in my heart and in my feet burnt live embers of a camp fire in her later life. I sat on a chair feeling the clay baked earth under my feet,, astounded that I could go from burnt out and lifeless to fully strong in an hour. The protein shake did help a lot. It was letting them guide me. It was letting the hawk and the guides take me that gave me strength. There is no more strength in anything I do alone. It must come from the guidance of the wise ones.
JJJ sat under my chair. We breathed. We were content and in awe and in love with the laughter streaming through the air. A neighbor revved up a very loud motorcycle and went past us in a loud blurry grey uproar, down the hill, around, and back up.
We stayed close to the ground and stayed peaceful. I sent love to the neighbor. He was expressing himself in the way that was working for him. All was fine. There was room for us both in our different modes. I heard the canyon echo back to him.
RRrr went the motorcycle.
"RRrr," said the canyon.
"WOORP!" shouted the motorcycle.
"WOORP," shouted the canyon. My heart was amazed at how powerful our messages are. What we sing, sings back. JJJ and I were being held in the life mirror.
I saw the neighbor approaching our shared drive way. His friend’s truck arrived also so I decided to camouflage myself the way JJJ does. I could not talk and maintain this strength of silence.
I lay my back on the ground between the shrubs and vines. JJJ was with me. I made myself flat and still.
"Thanks for coming all the way up here," I heard one say.
"It's a miracle I didn't barf," his friend said in response. Why did I have neighbors whose miracles were stuff like this?
I remembered what Gina told me. "Anyone who shows up in your reality is there because you called them there." I chuckled silently.
I was growing stronger. Something was brewing inside me and it felt stronger than anything I had ever known myself to be before. I was feeling the hawk and the owl in my muscles and blood in a most present, awe-inspiring and alivening way. I realized that the neighbor and his friend had hawk and owl in them also. We shared this energy. When they passed it lessoned so I knew that being together made it more powerful. It was not mine alone. I felt more respect. There was something to learn in the judgments that had arisen between us silently over time. There was something better beckoning us and Red Tail Hawk was calling this forth.
JJJ and I remained in the silence and all of a sudden Red Tail Hawk flew right over me. JJJ was under a chair but I was out in the open and Red Tail Hawk was only feet above with a red beak.
JJJ ran and I was taken over by complete feminine love. This hawk must have been a female. I sat up quick to protect JJJ but noticed he had run from under the chair to the open and was hunting. Was JJJ safe?
I felt my fear thoughts disrupt the smooth, complete vast and safe love.
"Will you keep JJJ safe?" I asked both Red Tail Hawk and life itself.
"There are only thoughts of love and thoughts of fear. Your thoughts choose realities," was answered back.
The day was getting ready to come to a close and turn into the night. With great grace and smoothness one becomes the other. JJJ sat safely on the deck with the loving sun filtering from his yellow eyes into the world. I went to put a load of towels in the washing machine.
"Go down to the deck behind the house," my guides instructed.
"Maybe JJJ and I should go for round three of lessons with Red Tail Hawk," I said.
“There is no reason to do that. Always follow your instincts. Your instincts tell you to go to the back deck so there you shall go."
I went to the back deck and lay in a chair. I felt that love was coming from me and love was coming to me. All the love that ever was in the universe was having a reunion with her/himself in me. I was no one but everyone and this could be happening in all who allowed it now.
"Our work today is complete," Red Tail Hawk said. "Listen to the message of now." She was gone.
I was enveloped in perfect love. All was complete. The day was right on track and knew exactly what was supposed to have happened. Everything was in its right time and place. I felt perfect love. My job was done just as it was needed to be done. What I yearned for was here now.
Two days ago a new client, Jake had come in. He told me that a woman had been caustic to him and had screamed and hit him when he had been loving and kind. He confused himself by still feeling attached to her. I felt he was telling the truth. I felt he had been very kind.
He told me of his land called "Two Grandmothers" because two grandmother spirits lived there and walked by him, one on each side, at night, with great love. He told me of the humming birds who flew around his face with great love and his friends, the ravens. His visit to my office was a blessing and informed me that the world was changing.
I told him that it is harder to let go of someone who is mean to us than someone who is just not a good fit. This is because the soul yearns for resolution that is kind. When there is none the personality feels a desire to go back and solve it.
"So close your eyes," I said to the kind man, "and imagine a woman that you will meet in the future. You can feel her now. This woman will love you with great love and kindness like the love and kindness you give. She will love you like the humming birds and the grandmothers. From now on, when you mind focuses on the woman who hurt you, immediately shift your mind to the woman you will love you. You will find her this way, first inside yourself and then outside."
I knew he could make this work. It is how I found Ray and this man had great love in his heart to make it work.
Suddenly, while laying on the chair on the deck in perfect love I felt this man and his two grandmothers sending me so much love that I began to cry. All the years of feeling that my work was not worthy enough faded. I was helping people in real ways. All the complaining that the clients took and did not give enough back was untrue. Many beautiful soles held me in gratitude in their hearts. Everything is and will always be perfect.
I was about to get up and go inside when I heard a noise. A sparrow landed right in my gaze. "Hello sweet bird,” I said. He looked at me and preened himself for a while. I realized my job was not complete.
"Guides of mine and guides of all my clients I ever met, I send this message now. You are held in the arms of The Divine Mother and you are forever loved. All is well in your worlds,"
Then I heard the great wale. I heard the deep seated big sob from the pit of the stomach that lives in the world. I held this sob in my arms like a baby, covered her/him in a blanket, rocked him/her back and forth and said, "You are loved now forevermore. Hear this today."
"Dial them up. Wake them up. Please, get there attention anyway you can, “I said to the birds and spirits.” Help them."
"We are doing all we can. Now it is your humanity that must listen."
Then I remembered what Marsha, the radio interviewer, told me on the air. She said that a hawk came to visit her and took a bath in her bird bath just a foot a way from her and they were immediate friends. I felt grateful for Marsha. I thought of Gina teaching her class to people so they could hear animals more clearly and felt grateful to Gina. I realized that so many of us are in love with animals and life now that everyone can catch on.
So I listen deep into the love that the birds have
woven into the sky and continue.
Perpetual copyright 2004 Dr. Laurie Moore. Do not republish without permission of the author. Thank you.