October 2, 2000

Dear Dr. Laurie Moore:

There is a lack of joy in my relationship. Can you suggest ways to bring more joy into a relationship?

Answer: Begin with gratitude. Focus on all the ways your partner pleases you as all of the ways that the relationship serves you. When you focus on gratitude your heart opens. Next, be playful. Do things just for fun. Play and fun nurture the heart. A nurtured heart gives rise to joy. Last, find things to laugh about. Be funny and silly. Laughter opens the heart so wide that joy comes tumbling out in big ocean waves.

Dear Dr. Laurie Moore:

Can two people with different religions have a happy life together?

Answer: If you respectfully make room for each others practices and holidays in your home, all will be well. If you plan to have have children, and can teach the children that both religions share the same core values, then family life can work out. On the other hand, if you overtly or subtly show disrespect for each others religions you will have problems. If you show disrespect for each others religions to your children you will cause struggle in your children hearts. Choose to be together if you can maintain curiosity and honor toward each others religions. This way you can share a happy life together.

Dear Dr. Laurie Moore:

A girlfriend of mine has a boyfriend named Ron, has a crush on two other men, and is also dating a variety of other men. I met Dan at a party and we were deeply drawn to each other. My girlfriend now tells me that she thinks Dan's the one for her and if I go out with him she will end our friendship. She reminded me that he is one of the men she previously told me she likes. She says I am hurting and betraying her and that he may be her future husband. Dan has no intention of being in a relationship with her. What should I do?

Answer : Would you like to go out with Dan, and possibly share a loving relationship, or do you prefer to maintain a friendship with a very self centered, controlling, and fearful person?

Phone consultation is available Breaking up without outside support may be very difficult.. First ten minutes are free of charge. Dr. Laurie Moore (831) 477-7007.

Laurie Moore, Ph.D. , LMFT, CHT, syndicated columnist, and author sees individuals and couples in Santa Cruz, Los Gatos, and the Bay area. She teaches workshops at retreat centers in California. Phone consultation is available. Call NOW: Free initial consultation.

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