New Ways to Approach Grief and Loss

1. GRATITUDE: When you respond to life with gratitude you live in a joyful state. When you focus on all that you love during a challenging time you recover quickly and remember that life is precious and valuable. Remember the essence of what was with thanks and ask life to bring you more of it! For example, I often remember the joy my mother brought me. She has passed away but when I focus on that joy with gratitude, more happiness enters my life now.

2. EMOTIONAL AUTHENTICITY: Maintaining an attitude of gratitude should not be confused with smiling all day. It is important to feel the wide range of feelings that occur in the face of loss: fear, sadness, anger, despair, hope, and joy. Allow yourself to feel and express every feeling in constructive and creative ways. Those who do will find deep resources of life-enhancing attitude. Those who do will naturally respond to the devastation with positive action and better the planet. When I lost a boyfriend Ioved I allowed myself to feel the profound sorrow. By choosing to stay present with it, I was taken to a place of intense loneliness. By accepting the loneliness I found a sense of incredible peace I had not known before. By living in the peace I became happier and more confident than ever. Living in such a joyful state, I found a life partner who was a far better match for me than the boyfriend I had lost. My life became a miracle.

3. EVOLVED EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION: In our culture we often think that emotional expression is done with stories and words. It is important to breathe deep and let feelings be expressed through tears and sounds. Use young children and babies as role models. Young children and babies will cry deeply and moan loudly. Because they do not stop their emotional flow they return to a state of joy quickly. Those who return to a natural state of joy will make good social change on the earth. Those who stay trapped in depression will miss the opportunities to create goodness and love. By emoting in a healthy way you will naturally overcome depression and recover your life force.  You will discover feelings of deep reverence, devotion, respect, awe, and celebration for all life! The more I have allowed my heart and eyes to well up with unexplainable tears, the more I have found great love for living.

4. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ROLE: Now is the time to look at your purpose. What are you hear to contribute? Don't spend the day commenting on what others did or why it wasn’t fair. Focus on what you are here to give and receive. Give and receive with all your heart and soul. Find the gift in the situation. After years of being told I was doing an outstanding job I got attacked by a group of students. The same students had attacked the previous teacher so violently that I was invited in midcourse to take over. I assumed that I could bring the group to a state of love and confidence. The more I tried, the meaner they became. This was the opposite of previous experiences. At last I learned the lesson, not everyone desires to seek solutions. I let it go. Once I let go of trying to alter that group in any way my career took off beyond anything I had previously dreamed possible.

©2001-2004 Dr. Laurie Moore. All rights reserved. No part of this website may be copied without permission of Dr. Laurie Moore.


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