What Is Romance?
Dear Dr. Laurie Moore:
My girlfriend told me that I wasn't romantic enough. What does romance
mean to a woman?
Answer: ROMANCE MEANS SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO EACH INDIVIDUAL
I asked a group of women to respond to your question. Here are the
Sarah: Romance means intimacy and connection, which means paying attention
to detail. My husband knows that I like chocolate-covered strawberries and
flamenco music. After six years, he still stops at Buckhart's to pick up
dessert at least once a week. Several times a year, he surprises me with a
new CD of the music I love. Last birthday he said he had a surprise and we
ended up watching a dance concert with my favorite flamenco dancers.
Janet : I also feel that romance stems from intimacy and connection but
for me its not in gifts. Romance comes in words. I like to hear that I am
loved. I like my boyfriend to ask about my day while we make dinner
together. I like my boyfriend to tell me what he loves about me while we
are making love.
Shawnia: Romance is communication and
connectedness to me also but intimacy goes beyond words. Life is full of
intellect. Love life is the one place I can leave my intellect behind and
live in the world of feeling. I like to be touched, massaged, and hugged.
I can never get enough touch, and touch never ceases to be romantic. Its
the most intimate form of connection there is. My girlfriend loves to
touch and this is the most important part of our relationship
Angelica: I like intimacy and
excitement. Romance is enhanced by surprise. My boyfriend picked me up at
work and had my bike on the rack along with his. He drove me to a hotel in
Mendocino which overlooked the ocean. A candlelight dinner was set up on
the balcony. The next morning he took me on a bike ride to a secret place
in a private cove where we made love. I was a little nervous that someone
would pass by. Nobody did, but the nervousness made our lovemaking
ecstatic. When romance and sex are causing you or your partner
disappointment, communication is the key. Find out what your partner
desires. All of the women I spoke with mentioned connection, intimacy, or
communication as being paramount in romance. What these words meant to
each of these women greatly varied, however, depending upon their
personality. The number one authority on what you desire is you, while the
number one authority on what your partner desires is him. However,
learning from the wisdom of other people can give you new ideas when
romance feels stifled or lacking.
Dr. Laurie Moore
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Dr. Laurie Moore
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